Shortly after, Mirick cut his hand at work and needed surgery. This brought him home with me and the kids for a couple of weeks. I blogged about our experience and how God provided for us through the experience. Remember, I said I asked God what He wanted me to learn from this experience? Well, I thought I knew…….but there was more to come! In fact I remember at that time feeling like WOW! was that easy to go through. Wrong!!!!!!!! Because here came the true test, and the true revelation. God did show me through Mirick’s time at home many areas that we had grown in together.
But Now! Right now! He is saying much more to me about the heart of things. My own sinful heart. In the past few weeks My Heavenly Father has been revealing to me my pride in many areas of my life, my self reliance or reliance on man, lack of accepting my True Identity, and the importance of relying on God as my resource. My husband is an awesome man! He is the one God chose for me and I love him! Me in my ignorance often times look to him for things that only God can provide. I look to Mirick as the source, and at the same time neglecting the fact that God is the only source. I get irritated with Mirick for our financial situation or lack of finances, and how to me we never have what we need, or what I think we need! Mirick is such a hard worker and a great father to our children; he is always willing to do whatever it takes for me and our children. I love that about him. However, I am always looking for ways for him to improve (playing the role of the Holy Spirit in his life and full of PRIDE in my own!) Ugh! Who do I really think I am? I thought if he would only tithe, and get another job we wouldn’t have these problems! Things would be better for us, for me, no more worrying etc., etc., etc. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Is what my loving Heavenly Father said…..
A series of things have taken place and I have been writing down the scriptures, and the messages. Psalm 119:104-105 says that “Through Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”So I knew that God’s word is where I needed to begin! That is exactly what I did, I have traveled many places over these weeks with God from Hosea 2:14-20 to Hosea 10:12 which spoke volumes about my desires and whether not they lined up with God’s desires for me and my family. It covered a multitude of areas in my life where fallow ground needed to broken up and I needed to seek the Lord. I can’t begin to find the words to tell you of the awesome journey He has taken me on! I sit here with His peace and His strength to type this testimony before my 2:30 appointment that will determine our immediate living situation.
Then, this past weekend God drove home many points that He had been outlining for me. One verse comes to mind- Psalm 37:25 “I have been young and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.” He is right here in the mist, and He cares, and either way it is all apart of His plan. So, yes we are reaping what we sow, but I still will Praise the Lord! Through all of this I have learned more about the very character of God and seeing Him for who He is and me for who I really am. I thank Him for knowing my heart and my anxieties; to Him I can not lie. I thank Him for His grace and mercy, for helping me see that I am sinful man and I always fall short and that I need Him. He is the only source.