What a day! The Grant family is facing eviction. Seems like we have been here before I think God is seriously saying something here. At first, I figured He was saying something to Mirick, but now I am convinced that what is going on through this valley experience is for me. Though we have been around this mountain before, there is a difference……I feel His presence. As, Dr. Stanley has begun taking us through the 30 Life Principles every week I feel each message has been prepared especially for me. About a month ago I woke up remembering something I heard in a dream “Be still and know that I am God”. I did not know what that was all about, Be still? Well, there was nothing going on in our lives and things seemed really good, as far as I could see. So, on with life I continued, never mentioning the words to anyone. Well, periodically Mirick picks up some movies for us from the church library, and to my surprise he brought this dvd title “Be Still And Know That I am God”. Weird? Maybe for some, but not for me… I was like okay God, what is this all about? I began to wonder if something tragic was about to happen in our lives, would we be losing one of our children? Would we be losing one of our parents? What? Well, how silly of me to try to guess the thoughts of God! But I tried, none the least!
Shortly after, Mirick cut his hand at work and needed surgery. This brought him home with me and the kids for a couple of weeks. I blogged about our experience and how God provided for us through the experience. Remember, I said I asked God what He wanted me to learn from this experience? Well, I thought I knew…….but there was more to come! In fact I remember at that time feeling like WOW! was that easy to go through. Wrong!!!!!!!! Because here came the true test, and the true revelation. God did show me through Mirick’s time at home many areas that we had grown in together.
But Now! Right now! He is saying much more to me about the heart of things. My own sinful heart. In the past few weeks My Heavenly Father has been revealing to me my pride in many areas of my life, my self reliance or reliance on man, lack of accepting my True Identity, and the importance of relying on God as my resource. My husband is an awesome man! He is the one God chose for me and I love him! Me in my ignorance often times look to him for things that only God can provide. I look to Mirick as the source, and at the same time neglecting the fact that God is the only source. I get irritated with Mirick for our financial situation or lack of finances, and how to me we never have what we need, or what I think we need! Mirick is such a hard worker and a great father to our children; he is always willing to do whatever it takes for me and our children. I love that about him. However, I am always looking for ways for him to improve (playing the role of the Holy Spirit in his life and full of PRIDE in my own!) Ugh! Who do I really think I am? I thought if he would only tithe, and get another job we wouldn’t have these problems! Things would be better for us, for me, no more worrying etc., etc., etc. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Is what my loving Heavenly Father said…..
A series of things have taken place and I have been writing down the scriptures, and the messages. Psalm 119:104-105 says that “Through Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”So I knew that God’s word is where I needed to begin! That is exactly what I did, I have traveled many places over these weeks with God from Hosea 2:14-20 to Hosea 10:12 which spoke volumes about my desires and whether not they lined up with God’s desires for me and my family. It covered a multitude of areas in my life where fallow ground needed to broken up and I needed to seek the Lord. I can’t begin to find the words to tell you of the awesome journey He has taken me on! I sit here with His peace and His strength to type this testimony before my 2:30 appointment that will determine our immediate living situation.
Then, this past weekend God drove home many points that He had been outlining for me. One verse comes to mind- Psalm 37:25 “I have been young and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.” He is right here in the mist, and He cares, and either way it is all apart of His plan. So, yes we are reaping what we sow, but I still will Praise the Lord! Through all of this I have learned more about the very character of God and seeing Him for who He is and me for who I really am. I thank Him for knowing my heart and my anxieties; to Him I can not lie. I thank Him for His grace and mercy, for helping me see that I am sinful man and I always fall short and that I need Him. He is the only source.
On July 9, 2009 my husband (Mirick) cut two of his tendons to his pinky at work. He had to be taken the emergency room, where he realized he could not move his pinky. He received two stitches and was referred to a surgeon for the next day….We got to the surgeon’s office where he confirmed that Mirick did cut the 2 tendons in his pinky but (Praise God), he missed the nerves and blood vessels. I was so thankful that God through His sovereignty orchestrated the event, the doctor said it was a miracle, because he cut the tendon on the top of the pinky which runs over the nerves and blood vessels; and then he cut the tendon that ran under the nerves and blood vessels. Yes, it was a miracle by the hands of my Abba Father! The surgeon set the surgery date for following week on July 17, 2009.
Leaving the doctor’s office many thoughts began to cross my mind, so I asked God, “What would you have me to learn from this situation?”, because Mirick is the bread winner for our family. He was going to be missing work and workman’s comp would only cover 60% of his income. I have lived and seen how God has been faithful in providing for our needs and most times for our wants. So I needed & wanted to be prepared for the negative thoughts that would creep in from the enemy, I wanted to walk through this with my Abba Father. Wow! God honored my desire and He led me through this time of trials in our lives, things have been financial strained or better yet drained. Mirick has been out of work 2 weeks and no workman’s comp check yet! But we have not gone without, we have not been living in tension or worry. We have spent these two weeks in times of prayer and Mirick allowing me to take care of him. Here we are in the final days before Mirick returns to work. The stitches have come out and therapy is going well, and my wonderful husband has been the perfect patient. Praise the Lord!
I must tell you that if this happened a year ago I would have been a crazy mess! Worrying about how long he would be out of work, what we would have to do to make up the other 40% of his income. How will Mirick and I make it in the same house all day together? How the bills would be paid and so on………….However, I thank God that He has brought me from worrying, to trusting! I thank God that He has given me His peace in the toughest of times! I thank God that He has surrounded me with individuals who pray for me and my family daily! I thank God He has taught me how to seek Him instead of someone on the other end of the phone line for support! I thank God that He has taught me how to focus on Him instead of the situations and circumsatances that will continue to arise in my life until He calls me home! I thank God that I am His child and He loves me! He is my strength!